Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Corporate Lessons in Short Stories

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Lesson #1:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?”The crow answered: "Sure, why not.”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit... and ate it.


MORAL OF THE STORY...
To be sitting and doing nothing you must be sitting very, very high up.


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Lesson #2:

A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy.”
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree
Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who promptly shot the turkey out of the tree.

MORAL OF THE STORY...
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


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Lesson #3:

A little bird was flying south for the winter.It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realise how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

MORAL OF THE STORY...
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.

2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut

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Lesson #4:

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthfully slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However,he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg.
Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Always be well informed in your job, or you might miss a great opportunity!

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