A little bird was flying South for the winter.
It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Lessons:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Salary Negotiation
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of Harvard, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The candidate said, "Given my educational attainment, in the neighborhood of $150,000 a year, depending on the fringe benefits package."
The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"
The MBA sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"
And the HR Person coolly said, "Mmm, actually, yes ...but you started it."
The candidate said, "Given my educational attainment, in the neighborhood of $150,000 a year, depending on the fringe benefits package."
The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"
The MBA sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"
And the HR Person coolly said, "Mmm, actually, yes ...but you started it."
Sunday, May 10, 2009
How to ask your boss for a salary increase..?
Dear Bo$$,
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under $tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company . I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
Norman $oh
The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:
Dear NOrman,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
Manager
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under $tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company . I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
Norman $oh
The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:
Dear NOrman,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
Manager
Thursday, April 16, 2009
How to survive as new CEO..?
Raman had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high-tech corporation.
The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes, #1,#2, and #3. "Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," the departing CEO said.
Things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and Raman was catching a lot of heat. At his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor."
Raman, the new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press -- and Wall Street -- responded positively. Sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.
About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize." This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.
After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. Raman went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope.
The message said, "Prepare three envelopes."
The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes, #1,#2, and #3. "Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," the departing CEO said.
Things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and Raman was catching a lot of heat. At his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor."
Raman, the new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press -- and Wall Street -- responded positively. Sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.
About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize." This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.
After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. Raman went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope.
The message said, "Prepare three envelopes."
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Levels of MisCommunication
An IT Company was bidding for a new project. The senior management asked the different teams to evaluate, about required competencies in their employees and see ho it goes ---
Programmer to Module Leader:"This is not possible. **Impossible**. It will involve design change and nobody in our team knows the design of the system. And above that nobody inour company knows the language in which this software has been written. Soeven if somebody wants to work on it, they can't. If you ask my personalopinion the company should never take these type of projects."
Module Leader to Project Manager:"This project will involve design change. Currently we don't have peoplewho have experience in this type of work. Also the language is unknown so wewill have to arrange for some training if we take this project. In mypersonal opinion, we should avoid taking this project."
Project Manager to 1st Level Manager:"This project involves design change in the system and we don't have muchexperience in that area. Also not many people are trained in this area. Inmy personal opinion we can take the project but we should ask for some moretime."
1st Level Manager to 2nd Level Manager:"This project involves design re-engineering. We have some people who haveworked in this area and some who know the language. So they can train otherpeople. In my personal opinion we should take this project but withcaution."
2nd Level Manager to CEO:"This project will show the industry our capabilities in remodeling thedesign of a complete system. We have all the necessary skills and people toexecute this project successfully. Some people have already given in-housetraining in this area to other people. In my personal opinion we should notlet this project go by under any circumstance."
CEO to Client:"These are the type of projects in which our company specialize. We haveexecuted many project of the same nature for many big clients. Trust me whenI say that you are in the safest hand in the Industry. In my personalopinion we can execute this project successfully and that too well with inthe given time frame."
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Golden words of Some Great Personalities
Dr. Abdul Kalam:
Love your job but don't love your Company because you may not know when your company stops loving you.
Dr. Abdul Kalam :
What is the Secret of SUCCESS... ? "RIGHT DECISIONS"How do you make Right Decisions...? "EXPERIENCE"How do you get Experience... ? "WRONG DECISIONS"
Dr. Abdul Kalam:
Without your involvement you can't succeed. With your involvement you can't fail.
Stanley Ferrard:
You are not responsible for what people think about you. But you are responsible for what you give them to think about you.
Charles Dickens:
A man is lucky if he is the first love of a Woman. A woman is lucky if she is the last love of a man.
George Bernard Shaw:
Write your Sad times in Sand, Write your Good times in Stone.
Bill Jacobs:
Behind every successful man, there is an untold pain in his heart.
John Keats:
It's better to loose your Ego to the one you Love, than to loose the one you LOVE because of EGO.
And the Best One…….
Don't make promise when you are in JOY . Don't reply when you are SAD. Don't take decisions when you are ANGRY. Think twice, Act wise....
Love your job but don't love your Company because you may not know when your company stops loving you.
Dr. Abdul Kalam :
What is the Secret of SUCCESS... ? "RIGHT DECISIONS"How do you make Right Decisions...? "EXPERIENCE"How do you get Experience... ? "WRONG DECISIONS"
Dr. Abdul Kalam:
Without your involvement you can't succeed. With your involvement you can't fail.
Stanley Ferrard:
You are not responsible for what people think about you. But you are responsible for what you give them to think about you.
Charles Dickens:
A man is lucky if he is the first love of a Woman. A woman is lucky if she is the last love of a man.
George Bernard Shaw:
Write your Sad times in Sand, Write your Good times in Stone.
Bill Jacobs:
Behind every successful man, there is an untold pain in his heart.
John Keats:
It's better to loose your Ego to the one you Love, than to loose the one you LOVE because of EGO.
And the Best One…….
Don't make promise when you are in JOY . Don't reply when you are SAD. Don't take decisions when you are ANGRY. Think twice, Act wise....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
